Pensive Ponderings

Reflections on things that matter.

Please pray

I don’t know how I got here. I don’t know where the misstep happened, but somehow, I feel like I stepped off of the path that I had found, the path that was sure to lead me strait to God and life and goodness, and now I’m in a thicket. I don’t know how to get back to that good place, that place of progress, that I was in just days ago. I’m not depressed. I’m not lonely, I’m just…off. I’m not sure what to do to get back to my forward motion. 

My grandmother is still in the hospital.  They found more cancer.  And all things dealing with cancer and terminal illness terrify me.  I’m being real.  I’ve told God as much.  I’m scared of cancer.  I’m scared of diabetes.  I’m scared of medical problems.  I don’t know how to reach for the reality in which cancer doesn’t defeat us, God defeats cancer.  I want to believe God’s power is supreme I this event…but I don’t know how to do so.  I’m reading the word, but I’m also aware of my horrible weakness in faith here.  I don’t know how to pray and I don’t know how to have faith in what prayers I do pray.  I just shrink back like a shivering Chihuahua.  I don’t want to be fearful, but I don’t know how to stand.  I know how to ask for help, though, so everyone who reads this, please pray for my grandmother, for our family, and for me.  And if anyone wants to share scriptures with me, I welcome them.

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3 comments on “Please pray

  1. jaywindwalker
    May 17, 2014

    My prayers are with you, Jay.

  2. Leah Carle
    May 18, 2014

    I am praying for you Regina and the first thing that came to my heart when I read this was your previous blog The L-Word Talk. How the Lord walked in, sat beside you and said, I love you. When you couldn’t respond you said He didn’t get angry or offended or uncomfortable, but scooted closer. You know, He hasn’t moved because you seem to be off the path, He still loves you…and you said you trust Him, right? You werent lieing, you do trust Him. The second thing that came to me was Habakkuk 3:17-19 (amplified). It talks about the fig tree not blossoming, no fruit on the vines, no flocks in the field, no cattle in the stalls, etc, in other words things just aren’t going right. As a matter of fact, it’s all seeming to take a wrong turn, but vs 18 is a declaration that I will rejoice in Him, the (victorious) God of my salvation. And vs 19 is my favorite…the Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds’ feet and will make me to walk (not stand still in terror, but to walk) and make spiritual progress upon the high places (of trouble, suffering, or responsibility)!
    There’s a song by Britt Nicole called Have Your Way. I believe you can find it on YouTube. I think you might like it.
    Leah

  3. Along The Way
    May 19, 2014

    I can not begin to tell you that you are not alone; I have been in a similar spot before in my walk of faith with God. It’s not always easy when you are full of fear that you never asked for and you want to believe…when every fiber in you fights to believe. I am reminded of the father of the demon possessed son in Mark 9 where he cried out to Jesus after the disciples couldn’t heal his boy, “Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!””

    God’s heart bleeds with compassion when we acknowledge that we want to believe but struggle to do so. I am of the persuasion that as you are honest not just in this post but in your prayers that you will find God at work in you and around you, building your faith in Him. Also I am reminded that Jude teaches/exhorts us to pray in the Spirit as it builds up “our most precious faith.” Keep praying in the Spirit and pray in your understanding!

    I encourage you to remember and confess/declare the promises of God over your life and your grandmother. First and foremost that God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. Remember that Isaiah 53 declares that Jesus bore all infirmities and diseases and by His stripes we ARE healed! Our bodies, when confronted with the Word of God, must realign themselves in accordance to God’s original design in health and wholeness. There is also the principal of binding/loosing…”whatever things you bound on the earth will be bound in heaven and whatever things you loose in the earth will be loose in heaven.”

    Your Brother standing with you,
    Michael

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This entry was posted on May 17, 2014 by in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , .
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