“It seems to me that almost all of the problems people have with God nowadays come from thinking about him the wrong way. We get angry at him when he doesn’t do things the way we expect, and we stop trusting him or even stop believing in him because he isn’t what we thought. I’ve been that person, but I’ve learned (and am still learning) that it isn’t that God isn’t real or good. It’s that he is not predictable, and it takes hard times and real tough-question seeking to get to the truth about Who God is for ourselves.”
I’ve been reading A.W. Tozer’s The Knowledge of the Holy, and one thing I keep learning is that I really don’t know much about God. The whole point of the book is to help Christians think rightly of God. If we have wrong thoughts about God, we are effectively worshiping an idol, or a God that does not exist. What I mean is this: God is only responsible to us for who and what he is, not our misconceptions of him. If we don’t work to learn exactly how he expects us to think of him, we are in danger of believing in a false version of god and then blaming the real God for not being who and what he is not.
When I got completely knocked off of my religious horse back in 2013, I had so many negative feelings towards God. I was angry at him for not being who I thought he was. I tried to stop believing in him because it didn’t make sense to believe anymore if God was who I thought he was. But God doesn’t have to be who I think He is. He must be who he says he is. I didn’t know how to think about him on his terms. I’m learning now how to do that, and on his terms, I am seeing him for who he really is, and I am also seeing why he couldn’t be who I thought he was.
If you are going through a doubting season, and you don’t know if you can trust that God is real or good anymore, I challenge you to begin asking questions about who you think God is supposed to be. Start from what you think of God, then go backwards to where those ideas came from. When that trail leads you back to the Bible, ask the Holy Spirit to teach you to see God as He is.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.… ~Matthew 7:7-8
I talked a little bit about my journey in the blog “The Labels of my Process.” I hope this is useful to someone.
Regina, the Pensive Ponderer